her eyes are green but they fade into the color of destruction when her favorite drink battles/goes to war against her lips. they shake like a heart attack racing its way out of an empty body, her vision is too blurry (to speak) always doubles or triples, if she has a couple more maybe she’ll see as straight.

—when he favorite drink sneaks it’s way through the tunnels of her chapped lips pieces of it are stapled to her teeth long enough to solidify and shoot back at me when (her tongue tackles me) she screams in the peak of our cross faded arguments. she’s not very stable. her favorite seat is the back of a police cruiser

libraries slowly become like bomb shelters. a place for me to hide and catch my breathe, the aisles share between bookshelves are teeming with faints whispers whos voices love having me around, they’re all untouched, a virgin same as me but ashamed to admit. a good book tells it’s sorry sorry buta great book listens to yours.

he smokes until his lungs are bloody, his eyes find mine, sting from the poison coated at the tip between each breathe needed, calls me a faggot, his cigarette flares up as it takes a breathe of its own fitted along the knuckles that tried to forget I was his son

you were trying to rearrange your vocabulary for a (thinking it would give you a) better son, you replaced faggot with fists, they clenched together tighter than (broken families masked in smiles for a family poetrait) genuine compliments but hit me way harder, and language, again became something that wasn’t good for me. (wasn’t good enough to have) he thinks if I throw enough blows back at him my dock will get bigger than the 3 letters the word man makes of him, I’m content knowing my penis will always be smaller than his dignity, I jack off into books with holds to birth a world of creation, to birth a world of imagination, to birth an infant who doesn’t cry when it comes here and opens its eyes with wonder (he’s sterile and he will never share the linked blood, I jack off…)

I failed most classes because the folds between a books pages kept crashing against me